dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
