How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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