Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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