I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I've blown a few things in my day
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
