He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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