He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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