We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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