even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
