I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
