Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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