I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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