I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
