I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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