I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
