I need help removing her.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Randomize
