Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
