I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
