I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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