Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
