I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
