does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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