Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm just crazy horny about you
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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