They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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