I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
