I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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