Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
