playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
