Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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