can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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