Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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