I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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