I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
