i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
