I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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