You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
