4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
