they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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