Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
