he thought i was a dude.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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