I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
