That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
