We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Boobs are out for the taking
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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