I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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