don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
