I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
