my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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