I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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