thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
