i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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