Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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