love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i drank out of a bidet.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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